Posted in Life and After, Love

The Subway

I stand at the subway gates. Her train is late. That has me worried. She is a creature of habit, always visiting the subway at the same time every day. What if she decides not to come at all because of the delay? Could I live through the eighty-six thousand seconds that pass between today and tomorrow?

When I first met her, it was in the same spot when I was called to duty by a church minister to get rid of the riffraff that riddled the enclosed space. I was one of the best guardian angels, killing all the specters at the breath of my sword. But, then, she stepped down from the midnight train, her melancholy eyes drawing me in. She walked towards the subway gate…towards me…and the world around me melted into an array of colours and nothingness.

I think the minister shouted to get rid of her but how could I?!

He called her as the most dangerous one but I couldn’t see why.

I think he sighed, “Not this one too,” but couldn’t care less.

Since then, for Almighty-knows-how-many years, I stand rooted in the same spot waiting for her to step down from the midnight train and walk towards the subway gates–towards me–like the hundreds of other specters before and after me.

(Author’s note: I saw this picture on Unsplash by Andrew Ling and it spoke to me. All I wrote is what the picture breathed into my ears.)

Posted in Blogging, Random Thoughts

Repost for a Dear Dog

Republishing this story to reminiscence Ollie, beloved dog who turned into an angel yesterday. He was the muse for this story. Full of life and antics, he was much admired and loved across the blogging community. I hope he continues chasing squirrels where he has gone.

Posted in Blogging, Random Thoughts

Perseverance, eh?

I am currently reading a novel “Sealed Divine Throne” by Tang Jia San Shao, which is a translation of a Chinese web novel. It is a journey of a light-element hero, Long Haochen, from age 8 onwards. After 600+ episodes, I have reached age 25 and am still a long way from the end. Out of the original 72 demon gods, he still needs to kill 67. So, at least 600 episodes more.

Hats off to the writer who has built an entire world based on calculated spiritual energy and tool-based magic. The thing that has kept me wondering the most is the perseverance of the writer (and the character too, of course). To stick to a set of characters for so long and let them grow bit by bit…

It is something I wish to achieve one day. Right now, it is a struggle to stick to a story for a week. Even in school, I was one to write the shortest answers. During exams, other people used to fill two or more sheets and ask for more until the examiners ran out of paper. But I was bent on conserving natural resources and hold the record for saving half the pages of examination answer sheets.

So, when I started out as a short story writer, I kept it really short–I mean really tiny-winy three-four lines. Since my sole audience was my two-year old daughter, she never complained. It is difficult to explain the aesthetic side of a stork’s journey down the crocodile’s stomach. She would certainly ask intelligent questions, like how come the stork’s beak managed to get inside and how on earth did the crocodile digest it, but I never had to write it in The Lord of Rings detail.

And then I attended one-hour workshop on tiny story writing at work. Bingo! I could write three-line stories for adults! As an instructional designer, the “conciseness” suited my temperament–my motto had always been that if it can be written in a half-a-word, why use a full word–sheer wastage of energy! (This rule only applies to writing. Otherwise, I am certified chatterbox.)

So, naturally I never felt the need to expand when I published my book, The Forest Bed and Other Short Stories. It had 30 stories with a word count of 100-200 each–most of the pages were filled with illustrations instead. The stories were still longer than I normally would write. But I realised that I had to to reach a minimum count of words to call it a story book.

After that I strived to write longer stories. But they take too long to finish. For me, anything that I can’t finish in a single sitting is a lost cause. I will most certainly forget about it the next time I open my computer.

So, I was wondering how people manage to write long novels/serials.

Do you have any suggestions regrading how to stick to a story for a long time?

Posted in Life and After, Love

Yesterday

She stands in middle of the raucous party.

Do I dare?

No, I don’t.

Of course, I choose to live in the past.

It is the safest place to be.

There are no risks, no uncertainties–

just plain solid facts.

There are are a few regrets

but I can always shrug them off as past.

Do I dare?

No, I can’t.

Future is steeped in risk.

Can’t get there

without weathering some storms

or facing my demons!

Can’t strive, plan, fail…face fresh hurt–

Too full of blows from the past.

At least they didn’t manage to kill me…yet.

Can’t move on.

Do I dare?

No, I won’t.

I sneak a peek at her across the hall

while trying to ignore her.

She smiles in my direction.

I frown at the pain in my chest

in the hole filled with resignation.

Ah! I forgot to breath!

Do I dare?

Don’t I stand on the mountain of hurt

collected in years past?

Will I be able to get past?

She is looking here expectantly–

a smile playing on her mischievous lips.

Do I dare?

May be…

I smile back and step forward…

The past still hurts.

Well, one baby step at a time.