Yesterday

She stands in middle of the raucous party.

–

Do I dare?

No, I don’t.

Of course, I choose to live in the past.

It is the safest place to be.

There are no risks, no uncertainties–

just plain solid facts.

There are are a few regrets

but I can always shrug them off as past.

–

Do I dare?

No, I can’t.

Future is steeped in risk.

Can’t get there

without weathering some storms

or facing my demons!

Can’t strive, plan, fail…face fresh hurt–

Too full of blows from the past.

At least they didn’t manage to kill me…yet.

Can’t move on.

–

Do I dare?

No, I won’t.

I sneak a peek at her across the hall

while trying to ignore her.

She smiles in my direction.

I frown at the pain in my chest

in the hole filled with resignation.

Ah! I forgot to breath!

–

Do I dare?

Don’t I stand on the mountain of hurt

collected in years past?

Will I be able to get past?

She is looking here expectantly–

a smile playing on her mischievous lips.

–

Do I dare?

May be…

I smile back and step forward…

The past still hurts.

Well, one baby step at a time.