Posted in Life and After, Love

The Conversations

Each day, I’d wait

To savour your voice

Speaking of little things

That hardly mattered…

When you spoke of

Your undying love

For another,

My heart shattered.

Still I listened


Even then,

Only you mattered.

Photo by FreestocksOrg on Unsplash

Posted in Life and After, Love

Lost Chances

For an eternity

I swam alone

In shallow waters…


In wilderness,

Making splashes

As I went…


Or rode the winds,

Touched the clouds,

Raced the Sun…


Now I walk the streets

For the rest of forever.

Now I wonder…


If I should’ve

Done it together

With you

When I still had a chance…

Photo by Nick Cooper on Unsplash

Posted in Life and After, Love

The Star

Under the stars,

You sit on your knees,

Hold my hand,

And beg me return,

Promising eternity again.

Other nights,

You shout profanities,

Ordering me to leave again.


I wake up

Drenched in tears,

Wishing these nightmares away.

You still star in my dreams,

My love…

Posted in My life

Weird Nostalgia

Let’s get it out of the way straight away–I am a clingy person…in a very weird sense. I cling to the memories…real and imagined…often not able to sort which is real and which is imagined.

Even my dreams are like that. I dream of old ‘friends’ telling me they miss me and after a few reruns (repeated dreams or thinking about it), I start believing it. Then I want to meet them, and find out that they don’t give a damn!

Not sure, but I think it has something to do with the loneliness I have dealt with during childhood. My father was transferred from one place to another often, and I and my brother kept changing cities with him. I was friendly but building relationships takes time, and time was not a luxury I had. While everyone else stayed with their childhood circle, I was constantly on the move, leaving potential friends behind.

I was and am still jealous of all those who could go back to their home town to meet old friends. I have nobody.

This Monday, I just came back after a month-long vacation at my parent’s home. I could only bully one friend to come and meet. Everyone else was busy. It was lonely…

Lately, I have been having more dreams/memories of ‘lost love’. But I am wary now. I can’t trust my own brain. Not sure if I had a brain short circuit due to all the emotional overload since I read too many novels about true friends and love.

Any advice?