Posted in My life

Weird Nostalgia

Let’s get it out of the way straight away–I am a clingy person…in a very weird sense. I cling to the memories…real and imagined…often not able to sort which is real and which is imagined.

Even my dreams are like that. I dream of old ‘friends’ telling me they miss me and after a few reruns (repeated dreams or thinking about it), I start believing it. Then I want to meet them, and find out that they don’t give a damn!

Not sure, but I think it has something to do with the loneliness I have dealt with during childhood. My father was transferred from one place to another often, and I and my brother kept changing cities with him. I was friendly but building relationships takes time, and time was not a luxury I had. While everyone else stayed with their childhood circle, I was constantly on the move, leaving potential friends behind.

I was and am still jealous of all those who could go back to their home town to meet old friends. I have nobody.

This Monday, I just came back after a month-long vacation at my parent’s home. I could only bully one friend to come and meet. Everyone else was busy. It was lonely…

Lately, I have been having more dreams/memories of ‘lost love’. But I am wary now. I can’t trust my own brain. Not sure if I had a brain short circuit due to all the emotional overload since I read too many novels about true friends and love.

Any advice?

Author:

I am an Instructional Designer, avid reader, small-town woman and working mother with a fish-eye perspective. I have just published my first book, The Forest Bed and other short stories. If you like my stories on this blog, feel free to Like, Comment, Reblog and Share. You can reach me at shailygrwl@gmail.com or through my Facebook page facebook.com/shailyagrawalwrites/

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