Posted in Love, Twisted Tales

Sleeping Beauty

In days of yore, a young lass

pretty as pretty could be,

her tresses gilted in gold,

azure eyes sparkled with glee.

At age, her parents invited

men from places far and neigh,

she slept assured true love will

find her in her reverie.

Years passed unaccounted for.

No one broke her thousand winks.

No prince ever came for her.

Parents crossed the rainbow bridge.

Their once pretty girl–with grey hair,

clouded eyes and sagging skin–

died in her sleep…

I wish she’d done something, instead.

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Posted in Life and After

The Temple in the Dream

Day 1: Walking up that winding mountain road in the moonlit night, I look up again. There stands the temple, partially hidden behind the mound of grey rocky slope, looking ancient, bleak and sad. I shouldn’t be able to see it at all from this angle, but somehow I can. I don’t question the vision though. The place has a lonely aura as if no one has visited it in the longest time. But still someone certainly had recently because it has no dust, no cobwebs.

Don’t ask me how I know that–I haven’t reached there yet.

I walk slowly, for the road is full of colourful shops lit by yellow light, like old days. Colourful stone jewellery hangs from the low ceilings and is laid down on the table display…nothing of real value but too pretty to ignore. I’d stop every now and then to hold them in my fingers, maybe try them out in front of the mirror. But my heart wasn’t in it. Then, the urge to reach that temple would grip me and I’d begin walking again, only to stop at the next shop…

Day 2: There are stairs winding between shops, going up and down and up again. I am bone-tired and a little lost. I want to take rest but the temple is pulling my heartstrings, and the compulsion to keep looking for the path keeps me weaving through the crowded marketplace built on the stairs. I look up at the temple at an angle where it should not be visible. But there it is, still too far, still the lonely mysterious place partially hidden behind the grey rocky slope. How I wish to see it up close…

Day 3: I walk that mountain road again, making my way slowly through the shops. I reach a crowded temple, vibrant with pink walls and huge deities that fill the entire room making it a tight fit. It isn’t where I want to go but the crowd of temple visitors jostles me until I fall in line.

The urge to seek something else builds within, making me restless with the crowd’s antics. I push against a houseful of humans until I finally find a way out. I am now on an upward unused grey path that leads to an open gate flanked by high walls. Once I reach the top of the grey rocky mound, I look down. There it is, the temple I seek…

The temple looks mysterious in the moonlight. It is as lonely as ever. I am drawn towards it like a moth to flames. I know, I’m not supposed to go alone in a place where no one else ventures. But my feet take a life of their own. I walk inside.

The darkness is not oppressive. It is releasing.

I stroll around between the many pillars, relishing the serenity. I reach a pair of sliding doors that look like an elevator. I inch closer. There is no visible button but the lift opens for me. There is one more woman there, looking lost in peace. Not sure where she came from. But I step inside anyway as if I know what I’m doing. The door closes behind me. There are no buttons but the lift moves downwards, which does not surprise me.

The lift stops after a long time, or maybe a few seconds. Time does not make sense anymore. The door opens and both of us walk out in a long lobby. The ceiling is too high and invisible to me. There is light on both ends of the long room, but that is to be expected. The place is crowded too but there is no jostling. I look back, the lift door is closed. I know it would not open for me anymore, not that I want it to.

People walk around peacefully at a casual pace, there faces grey and devoid of all emotions except eternal peace. I am here to join them. I begin walking at a casual pace, knowing I have an eternity to explore.

The last thing I hear is the final beep of my heart monitor. I know, now, I’m free.

Posted in Dream

The Train at Naught

I wait for the train, sure that it will cross my verandah today. I plan to hop on and leave. Where to, I haven’t thought yet but, surely, somewhere nice. So, I wait alone in the dark place that feels like sitting at the bottom of a huge well. I wonder when it will arrive…

I dread the ever darkening walls, the silence, the loneliness that fills my heart…

I dread the newness of the journey, the unpredictable schedule, the uncertain destination…

I dread that I might not want to return to my life full of certainty…

I dread that the train might decide to go another route and all my preparation might be for nothing…

I dread the hopelessness of my heart…

The train enters my verandah from a door that, in ideal world, is too small. The floor vibrates by the sheer force.

I stand up shaking with anticipation, holding all that I posses tightly against my heart, afraid to lose it when I board. Balancing all of my worldly possessions in my slender arms, I wait for the train to stop, afraid yet expectant at the unplanned journey.

I wave my arms wildly at the train to stop it. It doesn’t seem to be stopping. My heart drumming a double beat, I decide to jump once it slows a little.

It doesn’t. Smoothly, it passes out of the verandah through the opposite wall. Dropping my possessions on the ground, I wake up trembling at the rejection, tears ready to spill…

Posted in Random Thoughts

The Mountain Road

The car glides on the smooth mountain road,

making the turn barely in time

to watch a herd of deer

run through the grassy meadow

that rises up on the far side.

The air is filled with the sweet fragrance

of fresh grass and pine.

I’ve been here too many times

on this mountain road

to watch this herd of deer

and smell the air

that fills me of longing for more.

Yet I don’t know where…

I’ve never been here…

Not even today…


Photo by Murat Gün on Unsplash

Posted in Love

One Night Stand

All day, I wait for the night to return

When her long fingers caress me

And light the very fabric of my being.

Her silhouette in the dark room’s door

is the fire to my core.

I watch her every move

as she lies down next to me

with a sigh,

Her dreamy eyes closed to the world,

she smiles.

I sigh too, knowing too well,

My heart would never get over her,

No matter how many years go by.

Of course, she doesn’t understand

how I feel because, for her,

I’m just a night stand.

Posted in My life

Delay in Story Compilation

Hi!

Some of you probably know that I am writing a short story compilation. It was due January first half this year. I had taken a vacation in early Jan just for that.

But I sustained a back injury on January 4 and have been on bed rest. Hence, there is a long delay since I have used up all my sick leaves and nearly all vacation. Also, I am trying not to push myself too hard in the coming month while I return to working part-time with full-time motherhood.

Sigh! I really wanted this one out for Valentine’s day! But I guess some dreams need time to nurture! 😁

Wish me luck for future.

Posted in My life

Weird Nostalgia

Let’s get it out of the way straight away–I am a clingy person…in a very weird sense. I cling to the memories…real and imagined…often not able to sort which is real and which is imagined.

Even my dreams are like that. I dream of old ‘friends’ telling me they miss me and after a few reruns (repeated dreams or thinking about it), I start believing it. Then I want to meet them, and find out that they don’t give a damn!

Not sure, but I think it has something to do with the loneliness I have dealt with during childhood. My father was transferred from one place to another often, and I and my brother kept changing cities with him. I was friendly but building relationships takes time, and time was not a luxury I had. While everyone else stayed with their childhood circle, I was constantly on the move, leaving potential friends behind.

I was and am still jealous of all those who could go back to their home town to meet old friends. I have nobody.

This Monday, I just came back after a month-long vacation at my parent’s home. I could only bully one friend to come and meet. Everyone else was busy. It was lonely…

Lately, I have been having more dreams/memories of ‘lost love’. But I am wary now. I can’t trust my own brain. Not sure if I had a brain short circuit due to all the emotional overload since I read too many novels about true friends and love.

Any advice?

Posted in Life and After

Tiny Story: The Dream

His willowy wife slept in his arms but his sleep was gone after the nightmare: a girl in white–with a stocky frame, unimpressive black hair and eyes, and laughter lines–looked at him with a thousand accusations in her eyes as he stood at the back of the church. She, then, took vows with another man.

His heart felt hollow.

Posted in Life and After

Serenity

There is a place where I drive my trailer

Everyday

To live forever

Next to the grassy banks of a tranquil lake.

The warm Sun calls me

And the clear water winks at me

Beconing me to come out.

I dip my toes in the water.

I look at the starfish that adorns the rock

Buried by my feet

As eels and gold fishes glide by.

I see a swan swimming at a distance.

I think if you.

I close my eyes and

Wake in your arms again.

-Dedicated to W, my love, my life