Posted in Nature stories

My Neighbour: The Adventurer

To call me an adventurer would be an overkill. I am just your regular guy who loves lying in the sun on a free day. But these busy bodies I have as neighbours…

Well, let’s just say they just don’t appreciate the art of doing nothing.

Here I was, minding my own business, lying on this metal contraption my neighbours had brought in recently. The white tyre cover is irresistible and I was lying down on the surface warmed by the sun earlier that day. The neighbour, of course, was infinitely jealous by my comfort and switched on the front light.

Not easily rattled, I paid him no mind. But then, there were the moths on the front light!

I mean, who in the world could resist these delicacies? So, I moved up and made a snatch for one of them but before I could catch it, the moron started the dratted machine.

And I was flying!

I was racing through the roads at a reckless speed that reminded me of the time when that Eagle picked me and cousin Gill from the white wall. Gill didn’t make it. I had to leave my tail behind.

The thought made me sick…

All the while, I was clutching the damned light with all I had, praying to the God of all Lizards to make this stupid contraption stop. These kind of things should come with a disclaimer–a large yellow banner saying, “Stay Away! It Moves!”

Why couldn’t this guy tell me that it moves? Or at least he could have asked me to move before he started it. I always knew that humans were not friendly to our lizard-kind but discourteous too?

Humph! Well, finally it stopped and stayed put for a while.

It wasn’t a bad place. Seemed like a feast was going on around several lights–loads of insects and lizard brethren about the place. Very nice people. Adjusting too. Shared the spoils with me and everything. I even met a girl I really liked–lush curves and a tail with a really unique pattern. I think she got it done at a shop. It suits her.

I wanted to stay but I couldn’t for long, though. The guy was already moving towards the bike. This new girl told me the name of the metal contraption. She thought I was really brave to ride that metal monster! I wish I could stay!

But I hadn’t told mom I was travelling and she would be worried out of her mind, especially after cousin Gill. So, when the guy started leaving on the metal contraption, I hitched a ride again, willingly this time.

As the wind swept over my face when I wasn’t in shock, the whole thing felt mighty fun. May be, the whole “art of doing nothing” was overrated. May be, I will hitch a ride again tomorrow and come back for that girl…

Mom wouldn’t be pleased though.

But who cares?!

Posted in Random Thoughts

Strangled

I brush my feet on grass

and feel nothing,

no dew, no earth, no grass blades.

.

My bare arms feel neither

the wind nor warmth

of the soft afternoon sun.

.

My senses drowned, strangled

by running thoughts,

shouting, demanding audience.

.

Life tears rare moment

of peace, leaving

me in pieces everyday…


A passing thought in Urdu:

Sukoon nahi hai mujhko marne ke baad bhi,

Ae Zindagi, tu peechaa kyun chhodti nahi!

Translation:

In death, I still find no peace,

Dear Life,

Why wouldn’t you let me be!


Author’s note: What do you think about life?

Posted in Fiction

Safe

Author’s note: Based on my real-life incident. Life has a way of showing us, doesn’t it?

My father had warned me that if I didn’t crack the exam for the University-affiliated girls school, he will have no choice but to send me here. I could now see why he had warned me. I was horrified when I had to don a salwar-kurta uniform complete with white, starched dupatta rather than the smart pleated-skirt uniform I was so habitual of. But as I stepped inside the high walls of my new Inter college, my mortification was complete.

I had been blessed to be born in an upper-middle class family. My father was a Class 1 State employee who was frequently transferred to different cities. He always ensured we received the best possible education. As a result, I had studied in some of the priciest private schools around western Uttar Pradesh state of India.

But as he said, I had left him no choice this time–the private school that I had joined in the second year of high school had a very bad reputation with too many stories about drug abuse and boyfriends. (In India, boyfriends and drugs come in the same category of nasty.) With my brother out of the city, my father couldn’t have someone to ‘take care’ of me at school, so he decided to move me to a ‘safer’ school (a girls-only school, to be precise). Not many girls-only schools were available and I had failed the entrance test for the only other option. So, here I was, full of horror, thinking of what my future held in store for me.

As soon as I entered the place, a creepy sensation took over. If the place was like this during the day, I can only imagine how it felt at night. Good that they didn’t have any night classes. According to the popular legend, the place was a dharmshala (public resthouse) for around a century when it was converted into a school in 1957. Not sure if the story was true, but the place really looked the part. The place was built in a really old design with very high walls and paint that was already darkening inspite of the recent paint job, thanks to the combination of dust from main road and rainy season. The first thing that I noticed inside was an old peepal tree that served as the centre piece of the front courtyard. (In India, peepal trees are supposed to be haunted.) The entire place had a dark foreboding feeling about it, as if it was haunted. As I stepped inside the door leading to the classrooms, it felt like entering a tunnel. The said tunnel was rather short and opened, within a few feet, in a corridor around the open internal verandah. But somehow, everything felt darker, as if colour has been sucked out of my world. I wondered how I will manage two years when even two breaths felt long enough.

When I reached my classroom, all the seats still standing were taken. The rest were broken and moved to the side so a lot of girls were sitting on desks. The classrooms were built around the internal verandah and were supposed to be light and airy. But in reality, they were too dark to aid any studies. The tube-lights were all out-of-order. The only sources of light were the two doors in each classroom. Even though there were two large windows on the other wall, the net on them was coated with decades of dust. The only fan was weighed down with dust and wasn’t moving at a speed worth mentioning. The floor was made of bricks, but you couldn’t really make it out considering the amount of dust settled on it.

What else could you expect out of a semi-charity school. The fee was a measly Rs. 60 per year (nearly half a pound a year). My books and notebooks costed another couple of pounds–very inexpensive even from Indian standards. Naturally, 99 percent girls came from families that couldn’t afford their education anyway.

I was in shock.

All my previous friends still studied in schools where a single book costed more than my entire year’s school fee and all the books combined. I was sure, had they seen this school, they would have disowned me. Also, this school was Hindi medium. To someone whose only pride was her command on English language, it was a rather strong push down the totem-pole into nothingness.

But the alternative was missing the school year and preparing better for next, which really wasn’t an alternative at all. Cursing myself for not making a better effort at entrance exams, I took a seat on the back desk.

The first lesson was Hindi literature, and the teacher was insightful. It was impossible to take notes sitting on the desk and book in my lap, but I managed to write in page corners. Listening to those ancient verses, I could almost forget where I was. It was nothing like what I had studied in English-medium schools.

Once the teacher was gone, there was a scramble to find the next classroom, I found myself quietly following a group that seemed to know where they were going. The classroom was on the upper floor and cringe-worthy–small, no lighting, fan hardly working but the teacher was amazing. That inexpensive book worth 5 Rupees (around 5 pence) held the kind of knowledge that I could die for. And end of the period, I was talking to some of the girls while walking with them to the next class.

They were as different from my previous friends as possible. Most of them came from conservative families, seeking to keep their daughters ‘safe’. Some had very less income. They could not have afforded education without this school. Some of them had too many siblings and wore hand-me-down uniforms that they would hand down to their younger sisters someday. Some of them were even untouchables by caste. They had dealt with the lack of means early in life.

But somehow, this knowledge only rose their esteem higher in my eyes. They had been pushed in a tight corner, but they are making an effort to get out of it. They had dreams too–they were pursuing Arts because some of them wanted to join Civil Services, like my father. Others wanted to be teachers, or perhaps Professor in a college once, not if, they crack the NET exam. The school also had a Science section where students harboured dreams to become Doctors, Engineers and more. Some of the girls wanted to be housewives, but it was a choice and not submission on their part.

The best lessons I received in life come from this school, both inside and outside the classroom–about unfairness of life; non-uniformity of money distribution and life below poverty line; about creativity and ambition that cared for no obstacles; about not being defined with price tags on dresses. The teachers and classmates–a lot of them long-time friends–made it worth it.

Yes, the place is actually haunted. Once, some invisible being had locked me in the courtyard washroom at the end of the lunch period and was tickling my spine. I was scared shitless and could not even gather a scream for help. I would have been stuck for a long time with my invisible companion. But I was blessed with friends who cared and came looking. Of course, they knew about the ghost. A couple of them had been in my sitution too. That day, we all sat on the chabutara (raised dais) of the haunted peepal tree and laughed about it.

And for all my father’s effort, he shouldn’t have bothered–there were more boys stationed outside my new girls-only school than inside a co-education.

Well, at least there were no drugs!


*Disclaimer: Note that India has a lot of government schools. Most are well maintained. This one is semi-charity and an exception.

Posted in Random Thoughts

Alien Abduction: Can’t Wait

I was just answering Colin McQueen on a dystopian scenario of our world once all humans are abducted by aliens. I started answering him, reminiscing the time of COVID lockdown and after sometime I realised that the comment was nearly the standard size of my post. ๐Ÿคช So why not create a post out of it. (Reuse, Repurpose, Recycle)

I can only imagine how the world would look like if there we no humans left on Earth. In essence, it would look something like COVID lockdown.

Fauna visits became a norm. Three days in, birds came tapping on windows to check if we were extinct yet. My house sits next to the city’s main road, which was empty due to zero traffic and peacocks, dogs and feral cows started claiming the, then disused, road. Babblers, Bulbuls, Sunbirds decided humans were not to be feared and sat in hordes on our windows, checking out property for housing. Squirrels decided they could enter and begin claiming their nook inside our house too.

50+ Pigeons and 50+ crows sat on both sides of our building, waiting for the gang-war to begin. Hundreds of Steppe Eagles crossed overhead too close for comfort.

The trees alongside our house got so huge that their branches ended on next door’s roof and inside our windows. (We need special government permission to cut the branches but since offices were closed, no permission to be had and no one to cut the trees anyway). Ants and termites decided to take over the world, bees joined ranks with spiders in tow. Multitude of mice (no rat poison, no shops), lizards, snakes, centipedes and other ‘guests’ tried to make themselves at home. And that was just three months. Imagine three years or thirty being the only survivors of a world with no other humans.

I would choose alien abduction any day.

Posted in Random Thoughts

Weeds

Author’s note: This is my first attempt at ghost writing. The idea and image are supplied by Asna Ali.

I am weeding today.

Inside.

I shouldn’t have.

I let it go on for too long, I guess.

The very soil of my being hidden behind

Years and years of procrastination,

lies, pretenses, fake smiles.

And more lies.

They hold tight to my soil,

Impossible to shake off.

I’ve been weeding relentlessly,

Heart aching

Where I had pulled at the roots.

But nothing gives.

Gaah! No point bothering.

Besides, it is just grass!

Tomorrow, I’ll just put on

a layer of fresh lies to hide it! Sigh!

Posted in Random Thoughts

Things I can’t live without

Lately, an article by Colin McQueen left me pondering about things I can’t live without. If I had to take only three things, what will I take?

Of course, we are not counting humans or pets, otherwise I will include my daughter and, by association, her barbie set and their one thousand dresses, her unicorn, the medical kit, a large array of food dishes…

Also, I will include my husband and with him comes his mobile phone, wifi connection, mobile charger, bike cleaning kit, the said bike…

I will include my parents as well and with them comes their phones, playing card stack, ludo set, their laptop, kitchen supplies…

So, in that case, I might take the whole house itself–Why leave the poor thing behind alone and empty?

So I will just things take three things then: mobile phone and laptop, and my debit card for the rest. I mean, the hotels, restaurant and malls are not going anywhere, are they?


This list pretty practical but even as I write it I know it is a lie. I am not a practical person. I live my life like pendulum swinging between being practical and being myself. So, if there were only three things to take, I will take my drawing kit, pen and a diary because these are the things I can’t live without.

My drawing kit: Even in the years I didn’t paint (there were twelve of them), I kept my drawing kit with me as a talisman. I was going through a tough time initially and then, I just left it all behind in the race of life. I would look at the kit and tell myself that I am going to paint someday but never get down it. It was my daughter who drew me out that dark hole and made me paint with her.

It is still difficult because painting reminds me of a lot of could-have-beens but I am trying to make peace with myself that I will never be a world-renowned painter but I am a kick-ass Instructional Designer who can also paint. So, my drawing kit is coming.

A pen and a diary: During school and college days, I always had a decent supply of pens–different colours, cute and inexpensive. (What? I bought it all with my pocket money and while my father was doting, he wasn’t Bill Gates. My pocket money was enough to let me buy little things I liked but I could never afford an expensive Parker pen on my pocket money. My father would get me those.) I also had a huge array of diaries, all supplied by my father: one for songs, one for poetry, several for friends to fill, one for… Well, I think you get the point.

I stopped writing at the same time as I stopped painting. But without be a pen and a notebook, I still feel vulnerable. So, I was hoarding them too until my daughter got the whiff of them. One-by-one my pens started disappearing and now, if I need to write down anything at all, I have to borrow her pencil (pens are all used, empty and probably in a landfill now). In my daughter’s defence, I wasn’t using them anyway. But still the lack of pens makes me feel vulnerable. So I keep on getting new ones though they are bound to disappear the same way within a week. Hence my pens remained inexpensive. I hid my diaries from my daughter so well that I can’t find them anymore. But at least they are still somewhere around here. I will find them once the time comes to live with three things.

And then, I will slip my little debit card in my pocket where no one can see it. (Afterall, the restaurants, hotels and malls still aren’t going anywhere!)

Posted in Random Thoughts

The Longest Road

My father loves traveling and having stayed with him for longer than most kids, I have travelled quite a lot. There is something to be said about long roads. The exciting times when you are drinking every detail slowly gives way to quiet times when you either sleep, write poetry and think of world’s greatest problems. I am sure global warming and world’s hunger issues were realised during such long roads.

But if you ask me about the longest road I travelled, I would say, “The stairs to the washroom on the day I had diarrhoea.”

I remember my entire life running in front of my eyes as I tried to run-walk to the wash, wondering all the time what I did to deserve it. Since I had to rush through that road 11 times in 11 hours, the entire experience was surreal. (Not sure who invented the idea of building washroom on stairs. But I am sure, they help reduce my sins by punishment trip-by-trip.)

During the rush (hours), I went backwards in my life and revisited every single second over and over. I wondered if my actions were bad enough to warrant the punishment; what I could have, should have, would have done. Was it too much oil? Too much food? Lack of healthy food? Lack of liquids? Bread? Yesterday’s paratha? Mango and chilli sauce? Mangoes? Mango shake? (It’s summers. Mangoes are everywhere.)

I experienced the same soul-searching that people do during trips to isolated places. Well, I was travelling to an isolated solace, so it fits, I guess! The road felt so long that the sufferings of Frodo Baggins felt nothing compared to mine.

The plains and hills and valleys were all crossed over and over with such thoughts as, “Will I be able to make it?” “Do I have the power to control what was coming?”

Unlike Frodo, there was no Sam Gamgee to keep me company, which was probably good. This road was not for the faint-hearted, especially once I entered Mordor.

The best I can say about this trip is that it was only one-day-long and I got the day off work. Thank God for small mercies!

Posted in Fiction

Status Quo

Author’s note: Thank you, Stevie Turner for providing the fist line to help break my writer’s block. I hope Pete enjoys it.

Pete would never have thought it could happen to him.

The day was just another rainy day that were so common in his village. It was a life of too much time on hand where weekdays felt like weekends with no deadlines in sight. Retirement was so relaxed, Pete sometimes wished for a little excitement–something…anything that would challenge status quo. The morning walk with his dog was squelchy and uneventful as usual.

They were on their way back when he saw something lying on the road–a small round surface reflecting the grey sky above him. He bent down to look at it. It seemed to be a small pocket watch, clearly an antique piece. It had too many hands and looked one of a kind.

He wondered who dropped it. They must be worried out of their mind. The piece was worth a small fortune. He mentally debated whether he should leave it there for the owner to return for it or if he should take it to the police station just in case the owner had made a complaint.

Still undecided, he bent further to get a closer look. The brass exterior was slightly worn by the years and his hands itched to pick it up and see up close if it really was as old as it looked. So, he picked it up and almost dropped it out of surprise. The piece was pulsing faintly like a state-of-art racing car ready for a ride. The glass front had a tiny latch to open the face. He wondered if it was meant for the visually impaired so they could touch the hands to read the time. Or may be it was meant to adjust the hands, when needed. None of the many hands had moved so far–may be the watch didn’t work anymore and the owner threw it out, not knowing the value of the piece.

He opened the latch to adjust the time, though it was difficult to guess which one of its many hands was the hour-hand and which one was the minute-hand. So, he just touched the most decorated hand assuming, like on all old clocks, it would denote hours.

He felt a rush of wind, but it died down as soon as it started. In fact, he would have sworn he had imagined it if the leash in his hand wasn’t still swaying in the aftermath of the wind. Suddenly gripped by a fear like he had never felt before and he let the watch fall on the road. He knew something was terribly wrong and all he wanted to do was to rush to the wife he had left behind an hour back.

So, he tugged at his dog’s leash to get going but his pet wouldn’t budge. It started barking, trying to pull away. Wondering what caught its attention, he turned to face it and found that his dog was gone and in his place was a dog of a much younger age.

He looked around and the neighborhood looked different; well, not exactly different but greener and sort of younger. The Oak tree on his right seemed to have put on much more leaves than it had in the past few years–

Maybe, he was hallucinating. Or may be it was all a weird dream, he decided. The dog was sniffing him now. Seeming satisfied with its enquiry, it gave Pete’s hand a quick lick and started tugging the leash towards Pete’s home. Pete would have liked to go back to the park where he probably switched his own dog’s leash with this dog. But he was anxious to see his wife. Something in his gut told him that he will not like what he finds there.

So, together they rushed towards his home. He didn’t meet anyone on the way which did nothing to assuage his fear. When he reached, it was difficult to believe what he was seeing. The house was brighter, as if freshly painted and the garden was a riot of colours with flowers growing all over the place. It hadn’t been like this for several years since he quit gardening because of his backache. It couldn’t be his house. He was certain he had taken the wrong lane. He moved backwards, lest he was charged for trespassing.

But before he could take more than a couple of steps away, someone ventured out. His wife? Has she done something to her hair? She didn’t have an appointment at the beauty parlour, did she? Her skin was tighter around her face and her hair were more blonde than gray, as if the several previous years didn’t happen at all.

And she was looking at him in concern, “Oh my, Pete! What happened to you?”

He pinched himself to bring himself out of this dream. When nothing happened, he swept his eyes across the yard to find something to read. He had heard that if stuck in a nightmare, trying to read brings you out. So, while his wife kept asking questions with a worried expression about his out-of-breath countenance and sudden wrinkles, he spotted the newspaper on the coffee table under the portico where he always left it. He opened it. The front cover talked about Donald Trump winning Presidential elections in the US and how he would replace the current President Obama. How was it possible? Joe Biden had become the President of the US last year. Another election wasn’t scheduled for another five years!

He checked the date on the new paper: 21 January, 2017. The paper was new though…not something that carried 7-year-old news. His wife was still asking the same question he had no answer to. The truth dawned upon him and he rushed back to where he had seen the watch, his wife in tow.

The watch was gone. He had just got his forever wish. His life’s adventure had just begun.

Posted in Random Thoughts

Mail

I open mail and I see

my bank trying to reach me

offering a loan I didn’t ask for.

Then there are recruiters

mailing me

on a 10 year-old resume

offering me a job

that I needed when

I was still growing teeth.

People are begging me

to take half of their bank account

to get them out of their country.

I have won competitions

I didn’t enter,

and I have won enough lotteries

to make jealous the Arab emporer.

And then, there are

WordPress notices,

and subscription mails from world over…

What I sought and didn’t find

was a single mail

seeking me as a person

(not as a user or a bank account).

No one misses me…

Posted in Fiction, Nature stories

Demure

It was just out of reach. I stretched on my feet, balancing against the counter but I just couldn’t reach the damned tin. It was a tease if I ever saw one. He knows well how I crave for them, and right now, I had the mother of all cravings.

I looked at him for help but he was smiling dazedly at his laptop. The only thing I hate more than lapdogs is laptops. They are invaders who encroach into other people’s territory taking away their jobs and rightful places. Right now, I wanted to throw this one on the ground and grind it into tiny pieces. It has made my John it’s slave until he he wouldn’t remember I was in the room trying to get his attention.

I looked at that tin once again. I have to get it somehow. Either I will reach it or it will have to come to me…Having lost the battle against the former idea, I decide to go for the latter.

So, I pick myself as gracefully as I can and walk towards John like the models do on TV, making demure noises. He looks around at me and smiles. Good! I have his attention now. I walk closer, circling him, rubbing my shoulders against him.

Finally, he gets the message. He moves that blasted laptop to the table, gives me a heart-melting smile and gets out of his chair.

Then he opens the tin of tuna. I run to my dish. Oh, how I love this man.