Posted in Fiction

An Exercise to Futility

Posted on by Shaily Agrawal

He hid in the dak storeroom in the middle of the night and typed frantically on his laptop. He couldn’t dare to switch on the lights for the fear of being intercepted.

His ears were on hyper-alert, registering the tiniest of the sound–the tic of the Seconds hand of the clock in the adjoining bedroom, the constant dripping of the faucet in the kitchen sink, the scurrying mice on the storeroom floor. Compared to all these, the sound of typing felt like hitting a gong over and over. What if somebody heard him?

He couldn’t go any slower too. If he took too much time, someone might realise he’s missing. They would surely come looking and realise what he was trying to do. Then, they’ll find a way stop him or at least delay him enough to make the whole exercise futile. But he couldn’t let that happen…

The information he was dealing with was crucial, and the consequences of failing to act on time would be dire. The stakes were too high to lie low, so he typed like a madman praying to the Lord to give him just enough time.

He thought of the old days…happier days when he didn’t have to live in the constant fear of detection in his own home; when human roamed the planet freely…

“Just five more minutes,” he prayed. Then, he heard the baby wail…Time to change the diaper!

Damn working from home!

Posted in Random Thoughts

Additions to the Ranch

Posted on by Shaily Agrawal

Lately, their have been further additions to my daughter’s 1m x 1m ranch. The last time I posted, she already created super-beings like Dragons and Dinosaurs, who crunched on our furniture and hovered around our heads, and I was beginning to worry about world safety. Now she has moved her exploration to the smaller variety of creepy-crawler type.

Let me introduce you to her only invertebrate pet. He walks all day and doesn’t stop to talk much since it is such a waste of breath. So, we never got around to making introductions.

Her first amphibian is rather a shy person and prefers to hide under his shell all day. It is a wise choice considering the other pets my daughter is creating

This is “Hisssss”(that’s the only name he can pronounce). He joined our ranch last week and has been after Mathew and his progeny ever since. Mathew has been complaining about animal rights and about our prior peace treaty. I told him the clause about “not buying poison” does not include “not inviting snakes”.

These mommy and baby crocodiles have been complaining about the lack of a fish tank in our house from day one and we are hard-pressed to buy one to stop them from eating our other pets. They have also requested for a plover bird to clean their teeth. Talk about high maintenance pets!

There are also some animals from the cute variety.

Here’s the rabbit who has been hiding in my iron safe ever since the snake and crocs appeared.

Caribou, the red-nosed reindeer, is on a vacation before Christmas.

We are expecting some winter guests soon including Flamingos and Cranes. I’ll let you know if they turn up.

Posted in My life

Negotiating with Intelligent Beings

Posted on by Shaily Agrawal

My daughter is notorious for harbouring animals, cooing at live 🦎lizards🦎 and hello-ing hovering 🦅eagles🦅. We have been debating lately about the pros and cons of owning real animals.

Iniatlly, it started when we realised that Mathew🐁 (our resident mouse who lives in our house without paying the rent) now has a batch of newborns yet again. We know what to expect next–mice overrunning🐁 the house🐁, playing around🐁 in pairs🐁🐁, looking around🐁 the house🐁🐁 for new property🐁 to build homes🐁, chewing🐁 on our fingers🖐🐁️ while we sleep (it happened when I applied coconut cream)…

So she saw the opportunity to ask for a cat 🐈 “to kill the mice 🐁🐈” and play with her 👧🐈 in her free time. But I countered that the cat would eat the birds🐦🦉🕊️🐈that frequent our rooftop and drink away all her milk🥛🐈.

Then she asked for a cow🐄 to ensure we had a never-ending milk supply🥛🥛🥛. Upon my objection that we didn’t have enough space indoors, she offered to keep it on the rooftop. I relented and asked her to carry the cow🐄 upstairs in her arms, since it couldn’t climb the three floors on her own. She asked me for help, but I had to decline the generous offer considering that both I and her father were too old for such antics.

That was when she realised that the cow would eat her Aelovera plant🌱🐄, and kick the (imaginary) pet monkeys🐒🐒🐒🐒🐄 who sleep on our rooftop every night. So we dropped the plan of buying a cow, and the cat got suspended until the milk crisis was resolved.

Then she asked if she could build a nest inside the house to woo the pigeons🕊️🕊️🕊️ that have been frequenting our area (I told her how birds hate cages). She was super excited about the little pigeon babies🐥🐥🐥 that would live in them someday. But I reminded her that the cat might eat them 🐥🐈.

So she asked for a dog🐕 to keep the cat under control🐥🐈🐕. But I reminded her that both the animals together would drink all her milk🥛🐈🐕.

She again suggested the cow🐄 for the milk for the animals🥛🐈🐕 and I requested her to carry it up the three floors to the rooftop.

She, then, decided it was a good idea to drop the cow, and in the process, dropping the cat, dog and pigeons as well, and invest in a good rat🐁 poison.

Such a relief!

Posted in Random Thoughts

Not Enough Words

Posted on by Shaily Agrawal

Being polite never hurts, and it is good for business too.

R. E. Rule's avatarTiny Tales

Day 2 Writing Prompt! I think I’m getting the hang of this!

My initial thought with this prompt was some deep social commentary on how we must need more words in our language, because we’re all talking but no one seems to be understanding each other, but…this was more fun. So, here is my unintended homage to O’Henry’s “Ransom of Red Chief.”

“We don’t have enough words,” she sighed, flipping through the stack of mangled magazines in front of her. She had spent hours poring over that wrinkled piece of paper, scissors in one hand, an Elmer’s glue stick in the other.

“Good god, woman! It’s a ransom note not a novel,” I griped, fanning myself against the stifling Louisiana heat. The AC had conked out hours ago, and our only relief was a small metal fan creaking in the motel room window.

“That’s no reason not to be polite,”…

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