Negotiating with Intelligent Beings

My daughter is notorious for harbouring animals, cooing at live 🦎lizards🦎 and hello-ing hovering 🦅eagles🦅. We have been debating lately about the pros and cons of owning real animals.

Iniatlly, it started when we realised that Mathew🐁 (our resident mouse who lives in our house without paying the rent) now has a batch of newborns yet again. We know what to expect next–mice overrunning🐁 the house🐁, playing around🐁 in pairs🐁🐁, looking around🐁 the house🐁🐁 for new property🐁 to build homes🐁, chewing🐁 on our fingers🖐🐁️ while we sleep (it happened when I applied coconut cream)…

So she saw the opportunity to ask for a cat 🐈 “to kill the mice 🐁🐈” and play with her 👧🐈 in her free time. But I countered that the cat would eat the birds🐦🦉🕊️🐈that frequent our rooftop and drink away all her milk🥛🐈.

Then she asked for a cow🐄 to ensure we had a never-ending milk supply🥛🥛🥛. Upon my objection that we didn’t have enough space indoors, she offered to keep it on the rooftop. I relented and asked her to carry the cow🐄 upstairs in her arms, since it couldn’t climb the three floors on her own. She asked me for help, but I had to decline the generous offer considering that both I and her father were too old for such antics.

That was when she realised that the cow would eat her Aelovera plant🌱🐄, and kick the (imaginary) pet monkeys🐒🐒🐒🐒🐄 who sleep on our rooftop every night. So we dropped the plan of buying a cow, and the cat got suspended until the milk crisis was resolved.

Then she asked if she could build a nest inside the house to woo the pigeons🕊️🕊️🕊️ that have been frequenting our area (I told her how birds hate cages). She was super excited about the little pigeon babies🐥🐥🐥 that would live in them someday. But I reminded her that the cat might eat them 🐥🐈.

So she asked for a dog🐕 to keep the cat under control🐥🐈🐕. But I reminded her that both the animals together would drink all her milk🥛🐈🐕.

She again suggested the cow🐄 for the milk for the animals🥛🐈🐕 and I requested her to carry it up the three floors to the rooftop.

She, then, decided it was a good idea to drop the cow, and in the process, dropping the cat, dog and pigeons as well, and invest in a good rat🐁 poison.

Such a relief!