The question is a parent’s nightmare. Most of us avoid it as long as we can and try alternate theories, like pollination by bees. 🐝
One such theory is stork bringing babies home. 🐣 I have used it successfully for the past couple of years, thanks to the inspiration and visual support by Disney cartoons. (Dumbo really nailed it.) But now, as my daughter nears her fourth birthday, the questions about logistics are becoming increasingly difficult.
- How does the crane travel through a storm? 🌧
- How does he track moms at hospital? 🏥
- How does he deliver bird eggs without breaking them? 🐣
- Why some eggs that he delivers do not have babies and are okay to eat? 🥚
- How does he carry elephant babies who are too heavy for him? 🐘
- How does he drop lice eggs in people’s hair without anyone seeing him? 🐜
- Why we can never see the baby pouch it is holding. 👶
- How does he open locked windows? 💥💫
And last week, a relative’s daughter found out about babies in mama’s stomach. I am afraid she will drop the bomb soon and I will have to deal with the corresponding questions. 🙈🙉🙊I am wondering which tactic to try if it comes to that. The simple XX Chromosome meets XY theory leads to too many uncomfortable questions about the logistics. 😰
- Feign Ignorance 🤔: She would wonder if I am a competent mother. She has higher expectations.
- Deny everything 🤓: It is only a matter of time until she will ask someone who confirms the theory. She is persistent.
- Admit Lying 🤥: She would wonder why I lied, leading to more probing questions. Her questions can put Socrates to shame.
So, I am feeling completely clueless and incompetent as to how to deal with the impending onslaught. 😵
Too much to consider.
Any suggestions?
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Short Stories | Fish-eye Perspective 
My best advice is ask exactly what you stated and then give the correct information as needed. When I taught sex-ed in middle school I started with explaining the eww factor. There will always be things that you are not sure you want to know because well, ewww. I began with the basics and worked up to the required curriculum. I made the kids giggle at the fact that their grand parents had sex to make their parents, the president and his wife have sex, and most people they see are having sex as an important part of their life. That being said, when my own daughters wanted to know about sex I was tongue tied and always asked the why do you want to know? it prolonged the real discussion for many years. Good luck.
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🤣🤣🤣 Thank you. I’ll need that luck!
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My friend’s daughter said one day, ‘Mummy, there’s one thing I really want to ask you…’ My friend was ready, she had prepared, she gave her daughter it all in fine biological detail. When she had finished, she looked at her perplexed daughter and asked, ‘Is there anything you still need to know?’ ‘Yes mummy,’ she said. ‘Is Mickey Mouse real?’
This is a true story. She’ll ask when she’s ready and you’ll know the answers then – perhaps. The best bet? ‘Ask your teacher.’ 🙂
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Seriously?! 😁😁😁 I will ask her What she wants to know before I get in the detail! Or may be, I’ll go “ask your teacher” route! 🤣🤣🤣
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One of the many decisions of motherhood. A father can always answer, ‘Go ask your mother’.
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🤣🤣🤣 My husband has been feeding to the stork theory, using it to his advantage. My daughter believes that the crane handed her over to him first because I was unwell (in hospital). It gives him more ‘points’ and makes him my daughter’s favourite parent. 😁
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