Tag: Parenting

Posted in My life

Family That Wakes Together and Cries Together

Posted on by Shaily Agrawal

Most of you might already know that I am married in a joint family. In broad words, a joint family is several generations of people living together, that eat together and pray together. It includes a lot of shared laughter and duties, and everyone helps in chores and raising children, where it is impossible to tell who the real mother or father is. ❤️

Last year, my husband’s baby brother (now 28) got married (a detailed report on learning how to do make-up without poking myself in the eye is in another post: Link). This year he and his wife welcomed their first child. 🐣

Since the last child to be born in our house was nine years back, we had developed a very romanticised version of what would it be like to have another child in the house. We had totally forgotten the tornado that struck this house the last time. 🌪️

The first three days were spent with running to and fro between hospital and home, alongside entertaining a few guests who had come to enquire. Once the mom and baby came home and we believed the worst was behind us, we realised it was just a trailer.

Mayhem ensued. 🌪️🌪️🌪️

As most babies do, he sleeps during the day and wants to discuss gravity and poetry at night. 🌃 (I believe, in the first fortnight, his father actually managed to write several pieces full of enough pain to secure him a place in State Level Urdu Poetry competition.) Everyone was droopy. 😴 There were children’s things covering every surface while we were digging for baby clothes 👚, diapers 🚼 paper towels 🧻, milk feeder 🍼, baby food 🥫, nappies 🚼, handkerchiefs, more clothes 🎽👚, more diapers 🚼🚼…

Suddenly the pristine house looked like war zone. ☠️⚠️ We were all talking in whispers 😗 and tiptoeing around, afraid to set off the landmines that covered the floor of the house. We were praying for the baby’s mom to recover completely from her cesarean procedure so she’ll be able to take complete responsibility of the child. The day seemed close enough. But she developed post-surgical complications 🏥 and we were left to care for the baby as well as entertaining the numerous guests that now arrived in droves unannounced to offer congratulations and blessings.

Meanwhile, the baby 👶who is the most serene child 👼when with his mom🤱, wouldn’t stop crying 😭 while she was gone for her treatment three times a day.

It’s not like the new dad didn’t try feeding 🍼🍼🍼 him, but he was afraid. The baby is so tiny! Father couldn’t pick up the child without shaking with apprehension and having him in his lap was enough to give him high blood pressure. Burping him was an experiment he wasn’t ready to engage in.

By the fourth day of treatment, both Mom-in-law and I were in tears. Literally.

The baby’s glass feeder 🍼 had broken late last night and he wouldn’t feed without it. By the time a new one was bought seven hours later, he had rejected all our attempts to feed using a spoon 🥣 cried endlessly and we were ready to kill someone. Men in the family who hadn’t even tried holding him since they were afraid of hurting the pint-sized bundle, were wise enough to stand at a distance where we couldn’t reach them while holding the baby in our laps.

Thankfully the treatment ended at the end of fourth day, and the new mom became the primary caregiver again. The baby, after four days of crying jag, decided to go on sweet-and-quiet baby mode 👼. We are still helping the mom in every way we can, pitching in when she is too tired (He still wakes during the night and ensues endless discussions on a variety of philosophical subjects, insomnia being the main one). But we have a system in place, food in place, clothes in place, and his father has resigned himself to the fact that he is half the caregiver, sharing feeding, burping duties (now that the baby looks bigger than a new-born kitten). We are trying to promote him to diaper duties, but…

Well, I’ll think of a plan once I’ve slept for more than five hours. 🤣

Posted in Blogging, Writing Tips

Of Human Sacrifices and Other Cliché

Posted on by Shaily Agrawal

My daughter was memorising an application to Principal in Hindi today about reduction in school fee–something her school teacher had them copy from the board but did not explain. By the time she reached the part where she would eternally sacrifice her Principal (Aapki sada Aahuti karungi), I was in fits of laughter. 🤣🤣🤣

I assured her it would not be a pretty sight–a grown up school Principal being thrown into sacrificial fire 🔥 by a nine-year-old girl to save a pretty penny; and that it would suffice if she is eternally grateful 🙏(Aapki sada Aabhari rahungi).

Thankfully, she gave up her plans about roasting her Principal crisp, and decided to be grateful instead. Whew! I think I just saved a life!

It is a common problem with unsuccessful writing–using archaic words without understanding them first. In our job as Instructional Designer, we are taught to write so it would make sense to a 13-year-old, which means no obsolete words, no sentence longer than 10-15 words, no page to hold more than 8-10 lines (preferably 5-6 lines).

We write to be understood.

I am sure you will argue that some situations require archaic words, like royal scenes and fantasy. I would like to disagree because I have just read an amazing novel–Thief in the Castle–which used every day language with a bit of formality where royals were concerned and still managed to create a perfectly believable royal scenario.

However, if you feel your audience is well-read enough to know those words, I would suggest understanding the correct usage first–don’t be my nine-year-old.

It also includes understanding the difference between a Worcestershire sauce and a Barbeque sauce (Is there a difference?); and the difference between severe and sewer 🤣.

Remember, your audience is holding a smartphone. It takes 10 seconds to search a word and even less to write a scathing review and post it on Instagram, X and Facebook in a single click.

So, if you are really that smart, or faking to be, ensure you cross your T’s and dot your I’s well. Don’t resort to human sacrifice–it doesn’t look pretty on Instagram! 🤣🤣🤣

Posted in Random Thoughts

My Neighbours: The Wrestlers

Posted on by Shaily Agrawal

Coco and Dora move towards their individual corners glaring at each other.

My brother-in-law (pet-parent-in-chief) had just run in shouting and pulled them apart yet again.

The fact that they are currently sharing the same food and water bowls willingly seems to have diminished in the light of their obsession over the same pink kitty toy. Earlier today they had been touching noses and kneeding each other like dough, but it seems silly to remember such cute little things right now.

Coco sits in front of the bedroom door, blocking the entrance, while Dora sits in the money plant, claiming her throne. This is a battle of dominance. Their chests heave as my daughter gives each of them individual pep-talk before the next round.

Mentally, I can hear the gong and can almost see my daughter walk around with a board of round 9.

Suddenly, Dora spurts into a sprint, tags Coco full in face and launches herself in the bedroom behind her.

Coco lunges after her. They dole out punches after punches, kangaroo-style. Dora is only three months against Coco’s five. But she is not ready to back down. The room is completely devoid of any sound, save our breathing as the two cats take turns to jump on eachother from corners, pinning eachother.

One of them let’s out some kind of screech. Pet-parent-in-chief comes running back in, pulling them apart.

And forgets to remove the toy from vicinity. Sigh!

Author’s note: Our previous princess, Coco, had recently come home for a 4-day-and-night foster-visit and there was several battles of dominance in our house with our reigning princess, Dora. I was lucky to witness some, though missed filming them. May be I will get CCTV installed and start something like “Big Brother”.

What do you say?

Posted in Fiction, Nature stories

My Neighbour: The Exasperated Princess

Posted on by Shaily Agrawal

Is our cat weird?

Or is it because she is ours?

Author’s note: All incidents in this story are real and told with the least possible artistic liberty as possible.

Why do they have to change the bowl again? The water tastes all wrong! I don’t understand all this craze about different coloured water bowls.

First, it was shiny silver. I hated it. It tasted too sparkly clean.

Then it was white and red. It didn’t taste anything like red, just plain white!

So, I drank from Dadi‘s foot tub. It tasted amazing with a green undertone! But then Dadi stopped leaving water in it. What is wrong with these humans?

That is when I moved to the bathroom floor. It has such an earthy smell, and the roughened tiles tickle my tongue. Initially, the humans tried to keep the doors closed. But I refused to drink anything at all.

Finally, a couple of them started letting me drink from the bathroom floor, throwing fresh water on the floor for me to drink when no one else was looking. The best part was that the water tasted different, based on the soap and shampoo they were using. They tried to scrub out the fragrance but couldn’t do it entirely. I was so happy!

But then, I think I went a bit too far.

You see, mom (my real mom who taught me all things worth knowing) once told us of the time she drank from the toilet–the devine taste, sense of adventure, the rush of adrenaline at having to drink upside down… Well, I thought the toilet was right there for the taking, so I did what any cat worth her mice would do–I tried to drink too.

Honestly, I only managed to get on the rim of the commode. I was peeking in, looking for a way to get to the water without getting soaked, but that dratted Tai Ammi caught me before I could reach the water. Didn’t even get a sip!

Now they have started locking up the bathroom door all the time! They also called me “Bad Kitty” for drinking from the toilet! I don’t call them “Bad Kitty” when they drink all the black and orange sparkly water that makes your tongue go all tingly! (Well, I had to try it, so I licked a couple of drops from the floor. Ugh!)

Well, why can’t they give me the same space!

Sigh! I don’t understand humans. There is water lying around everywhere, fragrant and calling, but they have to drink tasteless stuff from bottles!

Next, they got me a food tray with a large and flat water area (since I was drinking from the floor). As if I care about a bunch stupid cockroach-sized animals waving at me from my food plate! I couldn’t leave any food around, afraid they would steal it behind my back! So, I declined to drink from it too. They forced me but I was resolute.

And then the neighbours gave them a plant. Since they didn’t have a pot and earth for it ready yet, they planted it in the brown mug with water. God! I love this stuff! The plant makes it taste exotic. I couldn’t stop myself and just had to take another sip and another, until I was always going back for more. When the little one spotted me in the act and started giggling and complaining, I thought this was it–the humans would take away my private heaven. But they all just sighed and went back to work.

So, obviously, I thought I got away with it.

Boy, was I mistaken! A couple of hours later, they bought a red earthen pot for me to drink in. Well, it did recreate the earthy smell well, but it didn’t have the wonderful brown flavor to it like the mug–plant water does taste good. I would have turned vegan, had my constitution allowed. So, I continued sipping from the plant mug to make a point.

So today, they moved the plant into my earthen pot and gave me the mug to drink!

Blasted people! When will they ever learn?!

Psst… About the toilet water, may be, it is an age-restriction thing. I inspected the commode again and the bowl seems to be built deeper, so you have to have a longer neck to drink. May be, I will try again next month. If nothing else, I will jump straight in. I’m not afraid to get my feet wet in the face of an adventure!

Author’s note: There is no greater happiness than seeing your children happy. I asked my daughter–now 9- years old and a fast reader–to be my first audience. The way she guffawed while reading was worth all the effort.

Posted in My life

First steps

Posted on by Shaily Agrawal

My daughter started telling stories when she was three.

Most of it was reused, recycled and repurposed from the stories I had told her or what she saw on You Tube (Link to the proof: Plagiarism with Brains: Reuse, Recycle, Repurpose). She would add or changes animals in my animal stories and replaced mango with pumpkin in fairytales.

Yesterday, she wrote her first piece of poetry–on the fly and in 60-seconds flat. I actually had to ask her if she had taken ‘inspiration’ from someone. She claims she hadn’t.

Here is the piece. Before you ask, I have taken Your Highness’s permission.

Touch the sky,

Touch the sun,

Just go on and have fun.

You don’t know how long it will stay,

Or rather it will just go away.

I haven’t correct anything there. I had just asked her why she wanted to write game score on the diary I had given her to write poetry and stories in. So, she just took a pen and jotted these lines on the first page (rather the cardboard) of blank diary.

Now that she has a foot in the door, I can hope. I know, there is no guarantee that she would want to continue at all. But that’s life of a parent.

Posted in Painting, Random Thoughts

The Pro

Posted on by Shaily Agrawal

A month back, I and my 8-year-old daughter had a drawing competition. The challenge was paint a dog without looking at it. I asked her to allow me to look at a picture since I am not good at animal drawing.

At first, she was unwilling to bend rules since the whole point was painting by memory.

But after some negotiation (“I will not play with you anymore!”), I was allowed a brief look (“Okay, fine! But only 10 seconds!”).

I quickly pulled out a doggy pic from Google and concentrated at it for 10 second. My daughter counted seconds in the background, declining the offer to look at it herself (“I don’t cheat like you!”). Then the picture was closed.

It took me 10 minutes to draw the picture directly with sketch colours (since I was too busy to use pencil first. Here it is.

If you think it was cheap of me to force an 8-year-old girl to allow me to cheat during a competition, you should look at what she drew using just her memory.

There was no competition–She is a pro, I am still learning!

Posted in My life

The Diva

Posted on by Shaily Agrawal

My daughter has done it again. She has surprised me and given me chance to showcase her creativity 😊. Sometimes I wonder if I am taking advantage of her creativity…that doesn’t stop me though 😁.

This time it is a doll dress👗. Lately my daughter has acquired three new dolls 🎎 and is facing a sudden dearth of dresses. She has recruited both me and her new aunt for dress designing and got 10 new dresses 💃👘👗 from her father but you know how a woman can never have too many clothes?!

And we have 6 dolls 💃💃💃💃💃💃here.

So, she has started helping herself. She created this one out of a shiny plastic balloon–the kind that doesn’t stretch–and cello tape. Can you believe it?

I love how she has created the complete diva look by sticking three pieces together. It would have taken me hours to create a body hugging dress. Add to it the accessories her father has got her!

I wonder if I should retire and let her take up dress designing for dolls🥰

Posted in My life

A bone to pick with Leonardo

Posted on by Shaily Agrawal

I have a bone to pick with Leonardo da Vinci–why did he chose to present Monalisa in such a way: all black, pulled back hair, receding hairline, black veil?

Every time I see that portrait in a photo (I don’t have the money to go to France to see the painting in person.), I think of a new widow. The mysterious smile makes me wonder if she murdered her husband 🔪 and got away with it. The roaming eyes 👀 just add to the story, like she is watching everyone wondering when someone 🕵️‍♂️will figure it out.

Why couldn’t he have made her laughing like a real person. And he could have given her more hair! He knew enough art to pull that off without causing offence! My little maestro managed to create it in 5 seconds!

Of you wondering about mistaken identity, my daughter has assured me the this is The Monalisa (see hands). 😂

This painting is currently hanging in the bathroom of her newest little doll house, this time made of paper. Why bathroom? Because that was the only room with enough wall space. The little paper doll looks extremely comfortable showing us around all the rooms.

The house is 3D with a door 🚪that opens into the curtained room, with the bedroom on the other side. The doll can get inside the bed🛌, and the two-door almirah opens to show various dresses 👗👘💃which the doll can wear (my contribution is the kimono she is wearing).

The doll can slide inside the bath tub 🛀 and toilet 🚽 has a door for privacy 😁The dining room fridge is stacked with cakes 🎂 and icecreams 🍦and the wall cabinets 🗄️can be opened to put in stuff (I don’t think the doll has learnt cooking yet, so they are still empty.). She eats at the dining table after sliding comfortably in the chair🪑. She has also created a supermarket but it is not sufficiently stacked so retraining from sharing. So far, a satisfactory arrangement for a two-inch doll.

What do you think?

Posted in Random Thoughts

The house and the doll

Posted on by Shaily Agrawal

My daughter has done it again. She has amazed me with her idea and I couldn’t help but join her scheme. She has built a doll house for herself out of waste cardboard.

This one specially struck me because it looks so much like the wooden dollhouse I had loved so much. It is several stories high and, yet, it doesn’t take much space. She can simply put the lid on and slide it in a narrow space.

Note the kitchen at the bottom with open stove top and fridge. The bedroom has a 3D bed (my idea), a soft pillow and blanket. The 3D step ladder leads to a large bathroom with a toilet, bathtub and a 3D shower.

Another step ladder leads to working room with laptop and a playroom with a teddy bear and coconut tree (not sure why). The 3D stairs on the left is going up to the roof garden with miniature plants–which is my favourite place. The cardboard doll is happily sitting there among the plants.

Next to the stairs is the 3D almirah that holds dresses for the cardboard doll (my doll insisted on having a cardboard doll and cardboard detachable dresses).

So far, it is one of her best creations because it has a lot of 3D elements and because it has the potential to add so much more–door, windows, curtains, better toys, more cardboard dolls and their dresses.

The best part is that it makes my daughter proud. She lead this whole initiative. I did only bare minimum, doing as I was told. She has been bragging about it non-stop and it will push her to be even more resourceful in the future.

Posted in My life

How to make a cake

Posted on by Shaily Agrawal

I found this torn cake recipe in the storeroom with my 8-year-old daughter’s stuff. Ever since she started “baking” cakes 🎂in her “oven” with paper ingredients , I have been wondering if she knew the actual recipe. 😁 Because I don’t!

Now I know that she does–in essence the recipe is correct, even if the quantities are rising by each element. 😁

I love the pictorial reference to each element, making the recipe universal. You don’t need to know English to read it. If you can decode it, you would know how to make a cake too…sort of… 😁