Our first night with the baby…
Baby: “WAAAAH!”
Me: (Distracted, surprised, amused and harrowed) “Google never said a baby can poop, throw up, fart and pee at the same moment!”
Baby: “WAAAAAH!”
Him: (Accusingly) “You don’t know a thing about babies!”
Baby: “WAAAAAAH!”
Me: (Accusing back) “Do you?”
Him: (Sigh) “How do we clean her now that she is covered with muck all over?”
Me: “Bathe her?”
Baby: “WAAAAAAAAH!”
Him: “But it is 3 am and it is cold!
Me: (Sigh)“Let’s ask your mom!”
Baby: “WAAAAAAAAAAH!”
Him: “But it is 3 am…How do we clean her?”
Baby: “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
Me: (Sigh) “Let me wipe her.”
Baby: “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
Him: (Sigh) “You try comforting her. I’ll wipe.”
-Dedicated to all parents who brave the uncharted waters, including mine
Short Stories 