I had always been like that–
Building shrines
For dead butterflies,
And visiting
With the freshest flowers.
You had been like that too,
Loving me for little things,
Until you grew up
And I didn’t.
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
Tag: Loss
At the End of the Rainbow
I run a rosary in my gnarled fingers at peace with my aloneness. Then I hear it–my bane, the jingle of bangles and anklets.
Vexed, I grit my teeth.
Why does she wear the abomination? Of course, I know the reason–the custom. She still has a husband.
I picture her in my mind–standing in the kitchen, face glowing after a night full of love, in a saree of red… green… yellow… It was me many years back. Now white and cream mark the end of my rainbow.
Bile rises in my throat.
She hums a song I have loved all my life–it speaks of hope and love that I once had.
I crush the rosary in a death grip.
She drops something trivial and I lose it. I shout abuses at her and curse my stars for wedding her to my son. I shout until I’m hoarse and can shout no more. I shout until she’s in tears and smiles no more.
Placated, again, I hold my rosary to look for that elusive peace. Sure there will be hell to pay later, literally. But life isn’t exactly heaven for the likes of me.
Lucky
This post is now part of a short story collection. I will upload the links soon.
Things I Do for You
It’s my personal hell
In my little town–
The wall by the pond
We graffitied together
To scare the passers-by
Snickering all the time–
The one that we openly
Laughed at later…
How well you knew
I was scared too!
With you gone under,
I throng that place now
Even though it creeps me,
Knowing you too well,
Hoping you’ll come back,
To scare me.
Photo by Bryan Debin on Unsplash
Child’s Play
When I was broken,
You picked up my pieces
And put me together
Making me whole again,
Only to end up
Hurling stones
To smash and pick me
Everyday.
The Ripple Effect
I am numb—
Serene sea.
One walks in and
Offers condolence—
A drop that sends ripples
Across me.
Then come the tidal waves
Of reality
Crashing against my being.
I attempt to reply
But tears rise and choke me.
I inhale to calm down.
But the stormy sea knows no bounds.
I go under—
Drowning the illusion of restraint,
Once again.
I turn to hide
Lest the world may see
What a wreck
You have made of me.
Wait until the numbness returns.
And I’ll, again, be the serene sea.
Photo by Joshua Qualls at Unsplash
Often
You visited me again last night.
All the time,
You struggled with words
Trying and failing to say
What I could hear
In your eyes anyway.
What I had wanted to hear, forever.
Your hand in mine
Sending shivers down my spine,
You walked alongside me
Like good old days
Making jokes and telling tales.
Then you paused.
You looked at me with eyes so sad.
I knew you’re holding back.
There was a time
You could have told me things.
You lament missing that chance.
I wish you’d say it
So I can kiss you this time.
But as always, I wake up
Feeling your hands in mine.
It seems to be the pattern.
Every night in dreams you meet me.
Every waking hour, I try to forget
What can never be.
Autumn Leaves
Autumn leaves adorn you.
Sleep deep, my love.
Sleep without regrets to fill every
Waking moment lying on the bed.
Sleep without nightmares to haunt
On cold, long, lonely nights.
Sleep without waking on a pillow
Wet with tears shed for lost love.
Sleep so memories can’t reach you
Deep under the ground.
I will see you there someday too.
I love you. I still do.
Photo by Amy Humphries on Unsplash
Because Everyone has a Story
This story is now part of a short-story collection. I will share the links soon.
The Star
Under the stars,
You sit on your knees,
Hold my hand,
And beg me return,
Promising eternity again.
Other nights,
You shout profanities,
Ordering me to leave again.
Everytime
I wake up
Drenched in tears,
Wishing these nightmares away.
You still star in my dreams,
My love…
Short Stories | Fish-eye Perspective 