Posted in My life

Claws

Lions are clawing me inside out!

Okay, I am on a diet–a high protein, low carb, no fat diet–a healthy diet that involves loads of milk, protein shake, fruits and nuts. What it lacks is everything I love–Breads of all kinds, rice, pasta, noodles, patties, pastries, even porridge! Chapattis (Indian bread) with veggies and pulses once a day are its saving grace. You see, I am a foody with a very low hunger threshold. I eat every three hours and I love variety in food. Hence most of my day is spent creating or planning that variety. So, dieting is beyond me.

But my husband could see my love for food was creating tires around my waist, and now these car tires were aspiring to become truck tires soon. Worse part, I was unwell with joint pain and body ache, thanks to the fast reduction and, then, adoption of weight in the past one year, thanks to Hypo-Thyroid and it’s medication’s side-effect. So my husband finally put his foot down.

11th July was the first day of the torture. My diet has been split in 3-hour schedule with smaller portions that provide me with only what I need, which means no fat, low carbs. I could feel lions clawing me inside out–I guess, they had always lived there, eating my food. Now with the famine, they are reminding me of their existence. I was techy, angry and on the verge of crying all day. But nothing would move my stone-hearted husband to give a hungry wife a few morsels of bread (with butter and jam).

Next day, the clawing had mellowed down slightly, at least I wasn’t crying. Or may be, I was too busy with laundry and other household duties to notice them too closely. I survived.

Today has dawned with the old clawing back. While I work on my computer, I can feel the desperation in this clawing. I think they know they are going to die of starvation soon. I hope this entire pride dies soon, for this diet is here to stay for a while.

Please pray for my safe return…

Colin McQueen, earlier you had talked about the hazards of running. I will take that any day as compared to this.


Free photo by Louis Hansel on Unsplash

Posted in Fiction

The Yearning

He reflected over his life with pride as he drove to office: a high ranking job, rich wife, children, vacations in exotic locales…
His eyes drifted towards the side of the road where children dressed in rags played with an old bicycle tire laughing with abandon. He felt a pang of jealousy!


Image by Larm Rmah on Unsplash

Posted in My life

Why I’m Never Ready on Time

Mother-in-law: Your lipstick is too dull. Use a brighter shade!

After complying...

Husband: Your lipstick is too bright. Use a natural shade!

After complying

Father-in-law: Why do you have to paint your lips? It kills the skin!

After complying

Mother-in-law: Why don’t you use lipstick? Your face looks so dull!

Posted in My life, Random Thoughts

The End of the World Approaches (Again?!)

Hi, I am rebloging one of my older pieces from my earlier site. Apologies to those who already read it.

In 1999, the daily news was filled with a number of โ€˜apocalypsesโ€™ headed our way: Asteroid impact, Pole shift, Nuclear holocaust, the Last Judgement and so on. I and my friends in school wondered whether we should spend all our saved pocket money in case we die the next day. Others contemplated the worth of studying for exams if, hopefully, we were dying anyway. The year went without the promised relief.

Then came Star-holocaust and the year of rising of Christ in 2000, Nibiru collision in 2003, nuclear war in 2006โ€ฆ There were some real catastrophes during these years, Tsunami, Typhoons and floods, but no one predicted those. In 2012, all the apocalypses promised for many years made a reappearance: Nibiru collision, Pole shift and Continent break-away, Galactic alignment, Solar storms, the Last Judgement… Again, I wondered whether I should trust them and spend my considerably larger savings.

I had reasons.

In 2006, a jyotishi (astrologer) predicted that I will die soon. I survived this personalised prediction though and had to complete LL.B.

Then, in 2008, another couple of jyotishis said that I should have died already and wondered how my stars saved me! Surprise! Then, they suggested pujas for an entire year to change my stars. (I wonder why, when they were also keeping me alive!) For six months, I followed the rigid daily schedule of pleasing various stars religiously (literally!) until I had had enough and decided that I would prefer dying instead and skip MBA exams. I am still alive though!

Hence, I couldnโ€™t trust these people in 2012. What if I had to live at a night shelter in Delhi after spending all my money?

Someone I know was foretold to die at 50. Dreading the day ever since, he has planned life accordinglyโ€”doesnโ€™t spend on himself, saves entire money for his familyโ€™s future and strives to settle his children as early as possible. Close to 50 now and with perfect health, he lives under the constant threat of dropping dead any day. I donโ€™t know if crossing 50 will prove to be a shock to himโ€”No plans post-50!

Most religions believe in Destiny but also believe that it is not written in stone. Even a change in a single molecule of the tiniest little thing can change future drastically.

Say, a certain X was destined to break a leg in a bike-truck accident on a fated day. However, on the way to hit him, the trucker ate food that an E. coli bacterium decided to infect out of sheer whim. The trucker got a stomach disorder, had an urge to relieve himself first and missed X by a few seconds. Hence, the whim of a single-cell being, the (Good?) bacteria, saved a human from hopping around for months. The trucker had a hard time driving though.

Again, Y was destined not to win a lottery on a certain day. But the person who picks the winning lottery numbers was eating bubble gum that he dropped in the bowl by mistake. While he was picking out the sticky gum, Yโ€™s ticket number stuck to the gum. Y became the winner.

Consider this: If destiny is so exact, wouldn’t it have known that you would meet this jyotishi and thr advice he/she would offer? Then wouldn’t it design your fate around the said advice leading you to the foretold fate?

โ€œProphecies can be brokenโ€, as told by the great saint J.K. Rowling in the holiest of holy books the Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Wonder what if Lord Voldemort had not heard the prophecy and not gone after Harryโ€ฆ He could have been saved a few years of playing Phantom in Albanian forest. Once you know your โ€˜Destinyโ€™, you will take the exact steps leading to it.

So, for a happy life, avoid jyotishis at all costโ€”especially the you-are going-to-die type. Donโ€™t wait for or dread your Destiny or the End of the World. Donโ€™t try to kill Harrys to save yourself. Learn to play hopscotch in case you break your leg someday. Also learn to fly a glider, go bungee-jumping, make friends, fall in love and celebrate each day. This way, whether the world ends tomorrow or not and whether you find your Destiny or not, you would have lived a Life anyway.

Posted in Fiction

An Unlikely Story(?)

Hi, I am rebloging one of my older pieces from my earlier site. Apologies to those who already read it.

Long time ago, there lived a woman who used pigeons to send mails. She spent all her day sending and reading her mails. She would draw pictures of โ€˜Aloo saladโ€™, โ€˜Kadhai dalโ€™ and โ€˜Chulha rotiโ€™ and send it. People would, then, tell her that they liked it or loved it. She, in turn, would do the same for them. Once an insect bit her lips and she sent her picture to her friends. This inspired others to post their picture with a pout as well.

All this made her feel important and happy!

She kept her precious pigeons in a cage and locked them when not delivering emails to ensure no one stole them. One fated day, she lost the key of the cage. No other key would work. Locksmith tried different combinations, even tried breaking it but the lock would not budge. He gave up in the end.

A week later, the woman passed away of a broken heartโ€ฆ

Unlikely story? Weird story? Stupid story?

I donโ€™t think so!

Most of the people on Facebook or Twitter spend all their free time on it. They post pictures of what they cooked or wore, where they went and how they are feeling. They wish their own spouse and children a โ€˜Happy Birthdayโ€™ on Facebook or Twitter, even though they live in the same house. And the rest of the world likes and loves it.

They call their friends to ask why they only posted a like and did not comment on a particular picture if they really liked it.

If needed, they would even suggest a good comment.

First love, first kiss, first baby and first soiled diaper… They are all on Facebook for the world see, like and comment on.

If you didnโ€™t post it, it never happened. If you didnโ€™t โ€˜likeโ€™ it, you ignored them. If you didnโ€™t post a comment, you never cared about them.

Facebook and Twitter are not websites anymore. They are oxygen cylinders. Lock people out of their account for one day, they will suffocate. Lock them out for a week, they will be as good as dead. If they lose their password, they will spend the rest of their lives resetting and securing it, or die trying.

That reminds me… what was my Facebook password?

…Where did I write it?

…Oh no! Where did it go?

…Gawd! What do I do now?

…OH NO! (Gasp) Canโ€™t breatheโ€ฆ Need airโ€ฆ

…HELP!!!

-Dedicated to the Dimpy Angel and all my friends on Facebook

Posted in Fiction

I am a Fly on the Wall

Hi, I am rebloging one of my older pieces from my earlier site. Apologies to those who already read it.

“As bystanders in the greater events of the world, what are we but mere flies on the wall.”

But flies know stuff, like where you hide candies from your son or when you lie to your wife that you ate the salad she sent for lunch while eating extra-sugary donuts. And they use it to their advantage.

And flies spread news. Have you ever paid attention to the strange humming noise when they gather in a place? Don’t mistake it as just flapping of wingsโ€ฆ that’s Morse code!

Flies also have political opinions. They can choose to sit either on the palm of your hand, a flower, a bicycle or an elephant at their will. They can also decide against all of them in favor of a blank wall or a puddle of cow poop.

Also flies canโ€ฆ well, fly! They have wings. They just choose to stick close to familiar places, like your kitchen. But the flies with ambition are free to fly to faraway sweet shops to live their dreams.

Hence, we humans have more in common with the common fly than we will be ready to admit. I, for one, as admitโ€ฆ I am just another fly on the wall!

Posted in Fiction

Poetry: Liberated

I was washed ashore

When the rage subsided.

Your storm had stranded

Me on a lonely island.

 

The pain left me ripped up

My soul dried to bone.

I cried your name over

Hoping for your return.

 

There I waited to die

For an eternity,

Accepting defeat.

 

Until I heard the gulls cry

A song replete.

 

I looked at the colours

Play in the horizon.

As if in a ballet,

The world went on to spin.

 

Then I quit pining for you,

And rescued myself

To a better life

Without you…

Posted in Fiction

Tiny Story: The Door

Image by Ross Sneddon on Unsplash.com

With a rock on my heart, I see you

Place the luggage out of your door,

Thoughtfully, coz I can’t carry it alone.

I wish you had let it stay inside

And given me a reason to

See you one more time.

But you put it out and

Closed that door

Forever.

Posted in Fiction

Tiny Story: After

The loneliness had become too much. Every one told him that he should move to a new city and start over again. He could, then, meet new people, and may be, even find love again…

He looked at his children: five and eight. Would they mind moving? Of course, they would! Their lives were here with their grandparents, their school and friends. He couldn’t uproot them at a whim!

He couldn’t hurt them, so he let the memories hurt him.