When a client asks me to do something that, I feel, would kill what I am building for them, I have to say No, of course, but you can’t bite the hand that feeds you.
Being a 24/7-foot-in-mouth, I try not to respond on call. In fact my managers ensure I am never alone on call with clients, so that there is someone to change the topic when I put my foot-in-mouth. They also sense when I am invariably going to say ‘No’ with no cushioning and they immediately ask for time to respond.
Which means, I write back to the client later once I have thought it over. The mail begins like this:
Hi [client],
Good morning!
Regarding the topic we were discussing the other day, my final answer is No… (The direct route)
…the idea is stupid… (The true-feelings route)
…it is so hilarious even to think about it… (The sarcasm route)
…I can’t believe you suggested that… (The disbelief route)
…it will really kill the whole thing…(An artist’s disbelief route)
…do you really think it would work… (The professional disbelief route)
…it is a good idea but not practical… (The ‘I-sympathize-but’ route)
…I will try to accommodate… (The servile agreement route)
…we strongly disapprove the idea since it is sure to cause problems like… (The worried professional route)
Having decided that I have done my best, I send it to my senior who checks if it would cause any offence and makes “minor” edits: 🤣
Hi [client],
Good morning!
I hope you are doing well. Regarding the topic we were discussing the other day, Thank you for attending our last call and the thought-provoking idea. We have discussed the idea internally and concluded that it is technically possible. However, we strongly disapprove suggest against the idea since it is sure to likely to cause problems like… (The expert professional route)
Please let us know if you wish us to continue on your idea.
Thank you!
With the cushioning in place, my manager forwards the mail to me, so that I can drop the bomb on the client knowing they won’t take it well anyway but, now, at least they might forgive us for being human.
I also know that I will never be able to write emails like that on my own 🤣
How do you manage to say No to your clients/spouse/in-laws?
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Short Stories | Fish-eye Perspective 
I think you are selling yourself short, Shaily. Especially now you have seen those examples from your manager, I feel sure you would be capable enough to deal with them yourself.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I try, Pete! I have seen those mails too many times but my knee-jerk response is always straight forward. I had to think quite hard to create this mail. I was surprised that I finally did create it. I hope I will remember the process. 🤣
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very important but hard to do
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Thanks, Beth! For me, it is too easy–that is the problem. I lost tact on the way to wisdom teeth. I am notorious among managers for bluntness. They never ask me an open-ended question unless they can’t help it. The only reason they have allowed me to stay on is because they know I don’t mean harm.
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I agree it’s difficult, especially if you don’t know the recipient well. There are advantages in having another person in your organisation to act as a filter, but it’s not necessarily all positive, either. I always try to be diplomatic, steering a neutral course between bluntness and flattery, but it’s important to remain firm in your resolution, so you never feel exploited 😀 Cheers, Jon.
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Thanks, Jon! That is certainly the best way to say no. But Somehow when God was distributing tact, I was out collecting shiny pebbles…
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🤣
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